NO COUNTRY FOR OLD MEN

NO CUNTRY FOR OLD MEN (THERE IS NO "O" IN CUNTRY)

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The brothers Coen are genius. I can't think of another contemporary filmmaking team that make movies in the noir genre as good of them. What I love most about any of their bleaker films is the humor that underlines it. There is so much dark humor in this film it hurts. From Chigurh's emo haircut to some of the ridiculous circumstances in this film, it could be classified as a black comedy. And for a film that is so somber in tone and "serious", it actually works. Most modern comedies and dramas are incapable of achieving the degree of their own genres as it is, which is kinda sad.

But for the Coen's, if it's a film about two bumbling idiots attempting to kidnap and inadvertantly kill a used car salesmen's wife...you're gonna find yourself laughing. If it's featuring ex-Mr. Jolie shoving a knife into the jugular of Tony Soprano...you're gonna laugh harder. And if you're watching a movie about some hick hunter being hunted fervently by one of the most intimidating movie villains to date...you're gonna be rolling in the aisles of the theater. Possibly choking to death on a popcorn kernel. Pick your cliche.

But then again...they are capable of instilling a sense of dread you've never seen before. I can't recall a movie that had me squirming and crouching in my seat at a central antagonist approaching a door, not even THE MIST. Then the scene escalates and seemlessly seques into a laugh riot; laughing at the absurdity of the situation. The Coens are completely aware of the humor of irony and situation at hand, yet integrate it so it feels even and necessary. The commercials and trailers were kinda vague so I'm gonna be a nice guy and spit out the plot description for ya: A Texan hick finds a satchel of 2 million bucks amidst the remains of a botched Mexican pinata fiesta. And like a big, dumb, stupid dummy head he takes it. The owners of the money find out who he is and to track him down they dial the psychotic henchmen hotline and order the consummate gas-tank toting lunatic. Who likes to ask inane, impertinent questions amidst the anarchy of perfectly choreographed gun battles, nonetheless.

Sure-fire best supporting actor winner Javier Bardem has been around for several years and at my dismay, I've yet to see any of his foreign films. His performance of Anton Chigurh is quite possibly one of the finest in movie history. Can you believe that I find Hannibal Lecter somewhat uninteresting and unthreatening? You know why? King Hrothgar (Anthony Hopkins) hams the performance up a bit and draws far too much attention to himself. This guy (forget his name already) doesn't. In fact, I was scared shitless of him. There is this one scene towards the beginning where he threatens a gas-station owner with that baritone voice and a coin...seemingly for no reason whatsoever. Me, not being a superstitious guy at all, saw him as THE DEVIL. As I sat there, I went, "Holy shit. This guy is the embodiment of evil". He most certainly is. He approaches murder as not only a hobby, but as a way of life. And he executes his prey as if he's carrying out a mundane activity, like taking a shit or downloading the newest Akon song from iTunes. (same thing)

You look in his eyes, there is nothing there. But his eyes aren't empty. There is passion there. Even a glimmer of capacity to do good. Yet, this is one guy who is way, way, way beyond the point of redemption. He is undeniably creepy, yet somehow, there is a childlike innocence to him. It's as if he's oblivious to the fact that you're not supposed to kill people. And tying into the comedy factor, his haircut is so fuckin' retarded and bad that it deserves a movie of it's own. His stiff posture and manner of walk are quite odd. He totes around a gas tank he uses to bust open doors and then blow people away with his handy silenced shotgun. He proudly uses both liberally at his discretion, wiping out roughly 99.9% of the listed cast. In short, this is comedy of the highest principal, folks. End spoilers.

The idiosyncratic nature of this character, coupled with the brilliant performance by Bardem makes Chigurh one of the more frightening villains, um...ever, whilst simultaneously marking him as one of the newfound iconic characters in film history. PERIOD.

The rest of the cast is pretty good, too. Tommy Lee Jones is in this one. He's old. Josh Brolin is fairly good as the protagonist, but only when he's not busy punching ex-wife Diane Lane around for banging that french dude from SWAT. Kelly MacDonald has the prettiest face I've ever seen. Good performance.

But seriously, this is a metaphorical movie in a classic sense with a very pertinent message: Evil is a disease. Good is the vaccine. When the vaccine is not properly administered or sometimes not at all, evil will continue to spread throughout it's victim (in this case, society) and subsequently conquer. Goddamn! I would make a great philosopher. The ending pissed alot of people off in my theater 'cause they weren't expecting such a metaphorical, anti-climatic ending. As the credits began to roll, somebody said aloud, "What a dumb ending". I believe it was a woman who said it, so I had to restrain myself from kicking her in the balls.

Narratively it works perfectly. It held it's bleak message and themes in it's arms and wouldn't let go, and did so without resorting to condenscendence or prolonged exposition. I admire that. This isn't your conventional, standard run-of-the-mill ending, and that's what makes it so unique and distant from the garbage we're accustomed to in American cinema. Clinically brain-dead, spoon-fed assholes: You aren't paying attention. I mean that figuratively and literally.

FOUR STARS